In my view, non-coital sex play should not be any more harmful to a child than taking a child to church. However, the child should not be forced to partake in either of these activities if they do not wish to do so. So, if having even non-penetrative sexual intimacy is illegal because the child cannot consent and there is a power imbalance between the adult and the child, why should it be legal for adults to be able to force their kids to go to church under the same circumstances?
He's not a pedo. Anything I say after this point is my own opinion and not necessarily his:
I actually think this theory has some legitimacy. Personally I believe a lot of the damage done by purely non-penetrative sexual activity is down to societies view of that activity and the stigma it places upon it. As I've said before, I think most children would like some sexual activity to a degree, though I also think if you go to fast or do something they don't want then they won't like it (http://peedohbare.blogspot.com/2010/05/age-of-consent.html for my opinion). Though if you did, or if your view is that they hate all sexual activity of any kind, why is it inherently worse than making them do anything else they don't want to? I don't know if it is. I think it is seen as worse, and therefore the child views it as worse, but only as a construct of society. Why is forcing them to do sexual play (without penetration) worse than forcing them to go to church?
The argument I hear is that it's good for the child in the long run. So forcing them to do things like wash etc. are good for their health. But even if that's true, most parents do abuse their position of power over a child for something that is purely for themselves and not for the child's benefit, but for their own. Usually the justification would be that their living in your house and you're paying for them, so they have to do chores etc. to make up. But then why is that inherently worse than making the child do certain other things? I'm thinking (haven't decided for sure) that actually it isn't. I'll say I believe it has a greater effect, but as I say I believe that that is only because society says it's worse and demonises the whole activity much more badly than other things. Which makes the child feel as if it's done something wrong, which in turn makes it feel bad about it.
That's not to say I think it's ok. I personally wouldn't force my (hypothetical at this point) kids to do things they particularly didn't want to do like that. I'm not saying it's ok to do, but that it's equally bad to force them to do other things and that society makes it worse than it has to be.
Note, it's not comparing sustained and heavy sexual abuse with something much lighter. If you want to compare something you make the kid do one off, compare it with a one off in terms of sexual activity. I'm also not talking about heavy sexual abuse, we're talking sex play, non-penetrative etc.
I'm really just thinking atm, I'm not sure if I agree with it completely, but as I say I believe it has some basis in reality. Not exactly sure where I stand.
Edit: It's like if society viewed going to church as something deeply despicable, disgusting and awful, then being forced to go would probably damage a child just as much.
And as I said, I want to make clear I'd never do it.
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