Japan are out of the cup.

;_;

Why...

Does England's defence suck so bad (football/soccer)? You'd think that playing on an international level they'd be able to actually do something right.

Hmmm

I feel kinda shit today. Nvm. I'll get over it.

Update

So last week I got to interact with a male-child. Thus half the longing has been somewhat fulfilled. ^_^ Not the sexual part, but the other part. So I'm fairly content again.

It's been to long

It's been too long since I've been around and interacted with kids. It's kinda getting me down. I long to be with some. To talk. To play with them. To feel a girls skin on mine (as in, if they hand something to you and you touch each other's hands, or if they brush past you) is fantastic, and I love that, but it doesn't even have to be that. I just want to spend some time with kids because I love it, and it's been too long since I last have.

Also, I've been getting pretty paternal lately. I want a kid, preferably a girl, to take care of, look after and love. I hope to adopt one day, but that depends on certain circumstances. But it would be nice. I love kids, they're adorable. Even if they can be pains in the asses sometimes, I'm pretty certain the good would outweight the bad. Yeah, I like kids in a normal way as well as the other way. I get a lot of happiness out of them. And I hope I could do the same for them, give them happiness. I'd certainly try my hardest. :)

Just some random stuff going through my head today. I'm sleepy.

Would I change myself?

If there was a magic device that could change my brain so that I am normal, would I do it?

Right now, I don't know. One year ago, it would have been no. If I could choose who I was before I was born, I wouldn't have chosen this, but now it is a part of who I am. It is part of my identity I guess. Though things have changed and I would now consider it, but I think the answer would still be no. I can deal with it, and I can resist it. If I thought there was any chance that I would harm a kid as I am, I would change. But I know I won't, so I can deal with what I am. It's hard, but I just wouldn't want to change myself like that. It just feels wrong to me.

Would you use a machine that made you gay (or if you already are, straight) just because you couldn't find someone of your current preference? Or somehow altered a part of who you are? I suppose it's being... oppressed (for want of a better word) has made me feel as though being a pedo is a defining part of me. Much like how blacks or gays from in the past might feel. It is part of who I am and not being able to express that... gives it more significance I suppose. So no, I wouldn't want to change it if I could. I know I'm not going to hurt anyone so it would serve no purpose.

I should say it's not all of who I am, but it's a part of me. To get rid of it I suppose would be like getting rid of a part of me.